477. Awakening Your Strong, Caring Warrior

Growing up in a small town in Upstate New York, “I was actively involved in virtually everything the school offered: sports, music, performing and acting. I think I learned my social skills there at a young age. it was a wonderful place to grow up. I knew my desire was to be connected to people and to be talking about things that were in the developmental area.  I gravitated toward the idea of teaching and coaching because those were some of the more influential people in my life.”

After a successful, largely rewarding 20-year corporate career, the frequent acquisitions and mergers began to take their toll. The last merger was especially mean-spirited, and TJ noticed he was becoming cynical, losing the positive, caring and idealistic side of his character. A dramatic moment came when his wife took his face in her hands, tears in her eyes, and said, “You are so unhappy! You aren’t yourself anymore. Come back to me”. Then she said the four words that knocked him for a loop: “Be who you are!” TJ recalls, “Frankly, that led me to jumping off the high dive and changing my life.”

“My metaphor is to take up the sword, but to take it up in a caring way, caring for yourself. To me, that means taking a really good hard look in the mirror. Often, that comes at a time of disillusionment, from a realization that ‘what I’m doing right now is not working for me. And it’s impacting every aspect of my life.’  It ultimately comes down to understanding the negative pressures, but not blaming them. Instead, it means saying, ‘I Own It,’ and taking ownership of your life.”

1. Read good literature and learn about your Hero’s Journey. This can give a greater sense of meaning to your life.

2.  Cultivate a caring sensitivity for yourself and others. Take pleasure in helping others grow.

3.  Be careful not to lose the best of yourself at these crucial turning points in life.

4.  You can often find small tweaks to make in your life to move you toward your desired goals. It’s not always necessary to jump from the high dive.

Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness, and Effectiveness, by  Sharon Lebell, based on the writings of Epictetus

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles, by Steven Pressfield

David Copperfield, by Charles Dickens

The Caring Warrior: Awaken Your Power To Lead, Influence, and Inspire, by T. J. Jones