390. Expert Interview: Mastering a New Skill in Your Career or at Home

Learning a new way to do something that you already know how to do can be very challenging. You continue to go back to the familiar way, even though you know the old way is no longer serving you well. Replacing an old, established way of doing things with a “new and improved” way can seem unnatural, uncomfortable and inconvenient. Building a new habit is similar to doing repetitions in a gym. Athletes know the importance of “reps” in building muscle. In creating new mental habits, there is a similar physical component. Your brain’s neurons are building new pathways, and need repetition to learn to use the new pathway by default. Like working with a tennis coach, you’ll need to practice, practice, practice.

“Time, commitment and continued effort are required. If you are committed to improving a particular interpersonal skill, be gentle with yourself and recognize that it’s going to take some time. As with a new golf swing or a strong serve in tennis, you won’t do it perfectly at first. The key is to acknowledge that quickly and admit it to yourself and others. It’s also important to ask the people around you for their support in making the change. There’s no need to be defensive or negative in any way. It’s just part of the process of learning and growing.”