684. Knowledge to Help Build Your Parenting Mojo

“After my mother died when I was 10, and a stepmother entered the scene, I started studying in earnest, because it was something I could do by myself. I realized I was good at it, and I was also good at working the system. So, I began by learning how to read a syllabus and seeing what is required, and meeting the teacher’s expectations. I was successful in school because of that. I feel fortunate to have come out with the love of learning. It wasn’t necessarily something that was fostered in me. Much later, while enrolled at a community college, I had my first epiphany, the idea that you really can do something you love to do.”

“When I had my daughter, it was one of the most profound shifts of my life. I’d assumed I would have my baby, take maternity leave, then just go back to work, and everything would be pretty much how it was before. Instead, I found that it really shifted what I care about. I realized I have no parenting intuition whatsoever, but I have awesome research skills, and that I can close the gap with using my research skills. So, I started work on a master’s degree in psychology, just to put a framework around the whole thing and make sure I wasn’t missing anything that was really critical.”

“I’ve learned that my greatest talent is learning, and then translating that learning into a format people can understand. My daughter is almost four now. Because I had done some reading and learned about raising a baby, I had become fairly good at parenting a baby. But once they turn into toddlers it’s a whole different animal. I quickly realized that but I had absolutely no idea how to parent a toddler, and it required a whole different set of skills I didn’t have and didn’t know how to get. All of a sudden, now she can talk, and what I say is really important. So, that’s why I started the master’s degree, as a way of making sure I didn’t miss anything important. While I was doing that, I realized that this is really silly, that I’m doing all this learning and not sharing it with anybody. So, that’s why I started the podcast.”

1. As a parent, back off a little bit. Let your child learn to fail and get back up again.

2. “Don’t be the sage on the stage, be the guide on the side.”

3. Don’t feel you have to know everything to support your child’s interests. Just be the person who connects them with resources.

4. Understand what your child is interested in and follow those interests where they lead.