635. Expert Interview: It's Not You, It's Your Personality

Dr. Diane Hamilton

Dr. Diane Hamilton is an award-winning speaker, nationally-syndicated radio host, author, and educator. She is the author of several books including “It’s Not You, It’s Your Personality.” She is a certified emotional intelligence and Myers Briggs instructor, the former MBA Program Chair at the Forbes School of Business, and has taught more than 1,000 business courses. Top companies, including Forbes, have hired her to speak to improve employee relationships, increase engagement, improve productivity, and reduce conflict.

Emotional Intelligence. It's Not You, It's Your Personality

“People are hired for their hard skills or their knowledge, but they are fired because of their soft skills, or for their lack of proper behavior and interpersonal skills. Many people simply do not know the value of empathy or have the skills to put themselves in the other person’s shoes. Today’s topic is based on the title of the book I co-wrote with my college-aged daughter. We wrote it with younger readers in mind. We wanted them to have fun, yet still learn the importance of how you get along with other people, understanding yourself and understanding others, which is a big part of emotional intelligence.”

Why Is This Important?

“The stress caused by faulty interpersonal skills at work costs American companies $360 billion a year. A lot of leaders—especially the younger, post Baby Boomer generation—are very concerned about making a better world, making things more cohesive and interactive. They are very interested in having happy, content and engaging workplaces. But, engagement isn’t how happy you are, it’s how emotionally committed you are to what you do.”

What Are the Key Lessons Learned Here?

“A lot of people who are discontent at work fear having conversations about this with their bosses. It’s just easier to leave, to go on to the next thing. We’ve all had bosses who had absolutely no clue they were difficult, or that they had any personality issues at all, while everyone else thought they were a nightmare. On the other hand, if on every team you’re on, you find someone who is a problem, it’s worth considering if the problem might be you!”