374. The Road to Self-Acceptance

Inspired by the transformation in his parents’ lives as the result of a newfound Christian faith, Angus studied youth ministry in college, “because I, too, had come to faith of my own. I love people and love to serve them, specifically young people. I worked with a missions organization and got to go into a number of different cities and countries around the world, and from coast to coast in the U.S., doing great things.”

Angus created a nonprofit organization in his 20s and plunged himself into it. “I found myself putting my identity in the institution. I became a workaholic, because I felt I had to do good, get good, be the best. The harder I worked, the more difficult it got. I found myself confronted with my ego and my narcissism in ways that I didn’t understand. Those were very dark days.” Then, he connected with an author who practiced a holistic approach that included faith, psychology and emotional wellbeing. He took a year off to learn and heal, “And it changed my life!”

“It’s not about what I do, it’s about who I am. We put more value on our performance and our production than we do on the simple fact that just being who we are is enough. Learning to be present, to accept and love yourself as you are, you find a place of gratitude. From gratitude comes happiness, fulfillment, joy, love—all the things other people want to be around. That creates opportunities and momentum. And that creates beautiful and wonderful things.”

1. Surround yourself with people who inspire and challenge you. We become like those with whom we associate.

2. Pay attention to what you’re reading, watching on TV, doing on social media, and make sure it is aligned with your core values.

3. Be intentional about being your unique and different self, instead of trying to “out-do” other people.

4. Recognize that who you are today is not defined by who you were yesterday. Who you are tomorrow is a product of how you invest in today.

Love’s Compass: How Do You Recover After a Lost Relationship, by Angus Nelson